Thieves

Ladies and gentlemen, today I'll be talking about thieves, those nasty wastes of sperm and eggs that have only come to this world to screw with normal, middle class people.

Thieves are jealous people. They envy those who can actually afford something in their lives with all their hard work and hard-earned money. When a normal person has something mid-expensive to show, thieves come after him/her.

They usually gather in groups so they can threaten others easier and they mostly prey upon a loner walking on a street.

So, my advice to stay out of thieves' eyes:

1. Don't show anything too expensive. Show things that even thieves can afford.

2. Don't walk alone on the streets by night, and keep your eyes wide open by day.

and 3. Always go out on groups to places you don't know, thieves also look out for the new faces.

In spanish for my friends:

Lo siento, pero pasaré de lleno a los consejos contra los choros, como sabrán vivo en un país lleno de choros y temo por mi vida. Los consejos son los siguientes:

1. No muestren nada caro. Muestren cosas que hasta los choros podrían costear.

2. No caminen solos por las noches, y mantengan sus ojos BIEN ABIERTOS por las tardes.

y 3. Siempre salgan en grupos a lugares que no conocen, los choros le ponen empeño especial a las caras nuevas.

Thanks and goodbye!